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Does Golden Boy Mayor Bobby Baumgartner Really Have the Midas Touch?

Exclusive to the Kensington City Examiner

After having interviewed Alexa Manchester and the superhero Electromancer, I caught up with the mayor of Kensington City, Bobby Baumgartner, as he was exiting his gold Lamborghini on his way to a city council meeting. I was trying to get to the bottom of just who this mysterious Electromancer is, and have been stonewalled at every turn. As the frontrunner in the next election for prime minister of Britannia, if anyone has the inside scoop, it would have to be The Mayor.

DA: Mr. Mayor, I’d like to ask you a few questions about Electromancer.

BB: Ma’am, if you wouldn’t mind, please take your hand off the hood of my car. You’re leaving fingerprints everywhere and I just had my car detailed.

DA: [After I took my hand off, the mayor pulled out a monogrammed handkerchief and wiped down the exterior.] Now about Electromancer …

BB: Fiction, rubbish. A creation of you media types.

DA: Why, thank you for the plug.

BB: I beg your pardon?

DA: Never mind. What do you know about Electromancer?

BB: Never met anyone by that name. Is she a registered voter?

DA: Sir, she’s the superhero who flies around your city and puts out fires with electricity, so I hear.

BB: Balderdash. You’re not from around here, are you?

DA: Mr. Mayor, your critics say that you’re obsessed with power, fame, and gold. They call you King Midas of Britannia. How do you respond to that?

BB: I’m a public servant sworn to do the public good. I will say this—the real King Midas has gotten a bum rap. What’s so bad about the Midas touch? Everybody wants it.

DA: Tell me about your relationship with Alexa Manchester. You’re engaged, right?

BB: It was announced in black and white in the social column. I placed the notice myself, right after I made the announcement to all of the city.

DA: Did Ms. Manchester accept?

BB: That’s irrelevant. Next question.

DA: What is the police department and your administration doing to capture the criminal mastermind known as Momo?

BB: Momo. Balderdash. Doesn’t exist. A creation of media types like you.

DA: No disagreeing with that, sir. But that’s not what Electromancer and Ms. Manchester believe. How do you respond to that?

BB: Alexa has suffered a great shock recently with the explosion at her power plant The Mick.

DA: You mean because of that magical element they call Electromite?

BB: A harmless rock. I’ve never believed the claims of Alexa’s late father, Mickey Manchester, that Electromite would solve the world’s energy crisis. Balderdash.

DA: Mr. Mayor, there have been reports that outlying areas of Kensington City have been overrun by grasshoppers. Any truth to that?

BB: [At this point, The Mayor suddenly turned green, coughed, and expectorated in the street.]

Before I could ask The Mayor another question, a matronly woman who identified herself as Henrietta Hensinger approached The Mayor and accused him of violating two city ordinances prohibiting spitting on the streets and in flower gardens. Miss Hensinger then berated The Mayor for ten minutes over his plan to demolish the train station known fondly by Kensington City residents as the Sugar Express Train Depot. After Miss Hensinger left, I attempted to resume my interview with The Mayor, but he declined further comment, except to say that he had to look into this grasshopper report. Once again, I found myself stymied by the lack cooperation among the citizens of Kensington City. Fortunately, you won’t be stymied if you read the chronicle of events in the thrilling, superhero-romance Electromancer.

Follow my investigatory column to learn more about just-who-the-heck is Electromancer.
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