instagram pinterest linkedin facebook twitter goodreads

Blog

Getting the Skinny From Biggie

Biggie Bitterman's ride ... Ah, such style!
By D.S. AUFFENORDE
Exclusive to the Kensington City Examiner

Those of you who’ve been following my investigatory column looking into the truth behind Electromancer will recall that I was lying in wait outside the Kensington City Police Headquarters, biding my time until Bigelow “Biggie” Bitterman was released from custody. The city’s chief constable, Pete Petaud, had run Biggie in for reckless driving, a bit unfair because Bitterman is a man of small stature who has trouble seeing over the steering wheel. Nonetheless, Petaud thought it was reckless that Biggie refused to sit on a booster pillow. Petaud’s decision to haul Biggie in on something so minor raised this reporter’s antenna—did Biggie know something about Electromancer, the electrified superhero, or her arch-nemesis, known only as Momo. So when Biggie exited the front doors of the police station, I followed him to the Kensington City Lanes and gave him a few minutes to rent a pair of shoes and select a bowling bowl. Meanwhile, Biggie didn’t look like a man who’d talk to a reporter willingly, so I did what any intrepid girl reporter caught in a superhero-romance investigation would do (think modern Lois Lane): I went to the ladies room, hiked up my skirt and applied some sexy makeup. Others have done much more edgy things in pursuit of that elusive Pulitzer Prize for journalism. The getup worked, because shortly thereafter, I was making eyes at Biggie, asking probing question, and taking notes.

DA: What’s a guy like yourself doing hanging out around a bowling alley in the middle of the day and in the middle of a workweek?
BB: I’m a professional killer … I mean bowler. Read More 
Post a comment